The gentleman, the frog and the lamppost
by Igsel
Summary: Arthur gets called in the evening by Francis. Apparently he had done something stupid, nothing new. Will Arthur go outside in the cold to help a frenchman with his dick frozen onto a lamppost? T rated for kissing.


**The gentleman, the frog and the lamppost**

Arthur sat close to the fire warming up. It was so bloody cold outside. He rubbed his arms violently to warmen up faster. He had been cold all day. The heater was broken in the conference hall. He gratefully sipped his tea. He was glad to be finally home, warm and safe. Safe, because a certain Frenchman had been offering him the entire day to "warmen him up". He found himself dozing off, this sure was nice.

He almost jumped up when his phone rang. The display said "Frog" Arthur sighed. He didn't feel like dealing with him today anymore. He gave in however when Francis just kept calling him. "What do you bloody want?" Arthur answered. "A-ah A-Arthur, Cher, Why s-so cold?" Francis voice was shaking, that was odd.

Arthur frowned. "Just tell me what you want, Frog. Else I'll hang up." Francis eyes widened. "N-no non non, s'il vous plait A-Arthur, d-don't." Arthur titled his head. Something was wrong. Francis sounded strange and desperate. He wasn't- A blush creeped onto his face. "I-I'm not having phone sex with you i-if that's what you want!" he yelled back at the phone and then hang up. Stupid git. Why was everything all about- his phone rang again. Arthur picked it up angrily. "What?" it was silent for a bit on the other line.

He heard Francis shiver. Was he outside? "O-oi frog." Arthur called out. Francis then finally answered. "A-arthur, s'il vous plait, come save moi." The Brit scratched his head and tried to figure what was going. "What's going on there, Francis?" he asked him worried. "It is a funny story…" Francis started. Arthur's jaw dropped. "You what? How old are you?" "A-ah non non, Arthur, it was, I-I can explain I-" but Arthur already had hung up.

He sat back down mockingly. He wasn't going out to the cold. He wasn't! He wasn't going to help the frog now. Serves him right. This would learn him a lesson to never walk around naked in public anymore. Arthur frowned deeper. Who gets frozen onto a lamppost with their male parts? Even kids weren't this stupid! Besides Alfred…but he's uhm a special case, Arthur still remembered how Alfred was stuck with his tongue onto a lamppost.

The Englishman sighed. "Stupid, bloody, idiotic, naked, perveted Frog." He stood up, pouring hot water which was supposed to be for his tea in a can, and got his coat. Just 10 minutes later he had found the frog, shivering, skin purple, bloody naked stuck onto a lamppost. Arthur felt sorry for him, just for a moment. "F-frog." He spoke up.

Francis face clearly light up. "A-arthur, dieu- merci, Je pense, I have quite a problem, non?" he said chuckling. Arthur wondered how he could still joke looking like this. "Where are your clothes?" Arthur asked blushingly. "They ran away with them." Them being, his socalled friends, Antonio and Gilbert. Apparently they had dared to do it. Francis, off course, had no shame at all, not thinking twice about the possibility of getting frozen onto it. Which brought him to the situation he was in now.

Arthur took off his coat and wrapped it around Francis. "I-idiot." He opened the pot with hot water. Francis eyes widened. "N-non! Non! You cannot do zat!" Arthur raised an eyebrow. "How else do you want to come off then." Francis thought about it for it a bit. "Well, per'aps if you-" Francis was hinting into getting a blowjob but he couldn't even finish his sentence.

Without warning Arthur put the pot upside down pouring hot water over the lamppost and Francis member. "Pervert" he added. Francis winced in pain. "A-ah ouch ouch, Arthur!" he cried. That hurt. It really did. Though he was glad he was finally freed. He clinged onto the Englishman. Still in pain and to get it warmer. "F-frog let me go, p-people will get the wrong idea." He mumbled with a flustered face. Francis didn't obey however. "G-get in the car already." He told him, pushing him inside.

He didn't want to be seen with this half naked idiot. Putting the heater up high as he had found some blankets to cover up Francis.

The Frenchman smiled weakly from the backseat. "Merci, Arthur." And he pecked Arthur's lips. The Brit's cheeks reddened. "You're welcome frog." He pressed a small kiss on Francis' cheek. "N-never do this again!" he told him as he gotten in the front seat. Francis nodded. "Promised, mon cher." Not soon after that Francis fell asleep inside as Arthur drove him to his house. With a lot of effort he managed to carry him, wrapped up in blankets inside. He layed him down on the couch and managed to fetch himself a blanket as well. Cuddling tightly onto the Frenchman. "Night, Francis." He whispered, before falling asleep. He was too cold and tired, to lecture the man now, but Francis had to prepare himself for an angry Brit in the morning.

The end.

**Authors note:** This was a lot of fun to write 8D I hope you like reading it as much as I had enjoyed writing it.


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